Anyone who’s met their twin-flame knows that people who have not experienced this specific connection generally don’t understand its magnitude nor the unusual challenges the partners face.
Our friends try to help us, but in reality they do the opposite. Their advice while hopefully well intended is usually misguided and frankly, wrong.
Those who are not intuitive, spiritually aware, or empathic or who have not personally experienced a relationship of this level have absolutely no idea how these relationships are different from the ‘norm’.
These bonds are strong, personal and unique. It’s impossible to say that all twin relationships follow the same pattern, they do not. However, many of them do share one commonality. One or both, after a period of acknowledgment and outward expression of love, develop some very bad behavior. You may have heard the word “runner”. This refers to the partner who after the initial period of bliss and devotion, changes behavior abruptly and either becomes distant or leaves altogether.
When something this shocking to the soul happens, we lose our emotional equilibrium. The partner (typically female but not always) who has been ‘abandoned’ by her partner is left to find her way…and to sort through what happened. So we seek our friends. But they don’t understand. They say “oh… he must be seeing somebody else” or “just forget about him/her. They’re not worth your trouble”.
I’ve been able to come up with one comparison, and it’s not exactly right but it’s the closest thing I can think of to help describe this to someone who (1) hasn’t experienced it or (2) can’t feel it energetically through intuitive/empathic abilities.
If you’ve been a parent (or any adult who is in daily contact with and loves a child), you know what close to unconditional love feels like. Possibly even actual unconditional love. I’ve raised two sons and a daughter. Eleven years of single parenting gives me the authority to speak to this topic: eventually that loving child becomes an ass. It’s part of growing up, maturing, finding their independence and sorting through how they fit into this world. A parent is their safe person so the average kid will act out at home even if they are near perfect at school, at other people’s houses and on their sports teams. No matter how amazing of a human being your child is, odds are good they are going to be a real poop at one time or another.
Remember how your child climbed onto your lap and wanted nothing more than to snuggle with you, to kiss you, to play with your hair… to just be with you. That amazing human being told you they loved you twenty times a day! That kid wanted you to come to every soccer, baseball, basketball game and school event. Their love for you shined outwardly and yours back to them.
Then one day they hate you. It’s usually shortly after they stop showering.
The mom or dad who used to be a trusted source of information is now stupid.
The teen reaches a point where they likely either don’t talk to you at all or they yell at you. My personal favorite, the look of shame. Rather than yelling at you, they hunch their shoulders and hang their head & shake it back & forth so you REALLY know just how pathetic you are.
But you love them. You love them because you know them. Whether you gave physical birth to them or not, you’ve watched them grow, develop, you know them at their core. You know them better than anyone else, because you’ve known them since the beginning. You love them deeply and authentically because you know the “real” them and you know they aren’t perfect, but they are your amazing child, flaws and all.
You know when they reach this icky period, it’s just that. It’s a behavioral phase. When they act out, when they won’t speak to you, whey they appear to have no need for you- it’s not their authentic self. It is them finding their way to who they are becoming. They trust you and know you’ll be there for them. They just have to choose you, To choose you, they must be ready.
They sometimes won’t say they love you during this period. That would make them choke. But they do- love you. They always have, the bond is unbreakable.
I remember telling my middle son when he was at his worst “I will always love you, but I don’t like you at ALL right now!”
Sometimes your child’s behavior is so egregious that you, the one who is not acting out, must made a decision.
The same thing happens with twin-flame relationships when the behavior of the ‘runner twin’ is simply no longer acceptable to the ‘awake twin’. Once the awake twin knows with certainty that this is a ‘cycle’… that when the runner leaves he/she is never really gone & will always return, there is a level of comfort. Where after the first few cycles there may have been doubt, fear, worry that you would never see them again, there is now a confidence.
When the cycle has been repeated enough times, you know without doubt what your bond is based on and that it’s impossible to break. Just like with your child.
What I believe happens next to many is that the ‘awake’ twin gets exhausted with the whole thing. Just like it’s hard to hold the family together when one person keeps taxing your energy, (the icky angry teenager) something has to shift. You may decide to draw the line and tell that teenager (or twin flame) that while you love them and always will, their behavior is not acceptable.
Every family, every relationship is different, There is no one right answer, it’s going to be personal and unique based your situation.
With a Twin-Flame who professes their love and maybe even acknowledges the depth of the connection, but chooses (even if they don’t understand why they are doing it) bad behavior, you may decide to walk away for a while, to give them some distance to figure it out and be clear that love is not all that matters when we are in human form. Behavior is an important part of a successful relationship too. Those who know their twin will sense the behavioral choices stem primarily from fear. Fear of taking a chance and failing, fear and confusion over the intensity of what they are experiencing with you, etc. Fear is a topic for another day, but the source that prompts the bad behavior is real and the twin feels it deeply, even if the “awake” twin thinks it’s ridiculous. While the bond of Twin-Flames can never be severed, behavior is a choice and can be changed.
If the person you love deeply is your child, and that child who you know at the soul level as the most amazing human being- is making bad choices… would your friends tell you “he/she is seeing another mother”. Would they say “why are you bothering with her/him? They aren’t worth it- forget about it. Find someone else”.